


Cirque Dans La Rue

by bogeyman013



Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types, Thor - All Media Types, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Carnival, Circus, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-29
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-01-21 07:30:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1542623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bogeyman013/pseuds/bogeyman013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Upstart pyrotechnician and ex-military Saint-John Allerdyce needed out of his life. His past kept catching up with him, so he decided to get the hell out of dodge. He runs to last place anyone would look for him: a traveling circus. And everything is kind of okay until he meets Bobby Drake...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why Does the Past Feel Like a Clingy Ex?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first official, honest to God, available for all to read fanfiction. I have always wondered what it would be like to liva in a carnival or a traveling circus, so I decided to try and write about it. 
> 
> This is the prologue to the story, just to see a little bit of Saint-John's background.
> 
> I will try to post a new chapter weekly.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Johnny makes poor life choices and joins a carnival.

             Saint-John Allerdyce felt like his feet would fall off if he remained seated a second longer. After driving through the whole night and a good part of the previous day, he was itching to move around on his own two legs. He took his meager belongings (which fit in a single standard issue military duffle bag) out of the sidecar of his motorcycle and pulled-up his goggles up onto his forehead to get a good look at his surroundings. Standing in his way stood an honest to God ticket booth with a giant ad that read:

_The Lernaean Traveling Circus_

Inside the booth sat a brunette woman about Johnny's age. She made a show of looking bored like it was going out of style. This was probably his worst idea yet.

 

            Several weeks earlier, Allerdyce had received a phone call in the middle of the night. His roommate had mumbled something about him doing his fair share and picking it up as he had passed in front of his room to get to the infernal device.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Johnny-boy."

He had almost dropped the phone at the sound of the voice. Memories of desert heat, flying bullets, and blood-stained sand had rushed to the forefront of his mind while he stood in a daze. He had hoped to never get this call.

"What do you want?"

"Is that any way to talk to an old army buddy?"

"No. But then again, you don't really qualify as a 'buddy'."

A wet slurp was heard from the other end of the line that made his whole body shudder. The same slurp that had plagued so many of his nightmares.

"You hurt my feelings, Johnny-boy."

"Is there a point to all this, Toad?"

"That's _corporal Toynbee_ to you, sleaze-bag."

"Whatever. I'm hanging up now."

"No, you're not." Another body-shuddering slurp. "I'm calling in a old favour and..."

Allerdyce had hung up before the sentence was finished. He had just stood there, in the silence of his apartment, stood and tried very hard not to have a panic attack. He had tried very hard and he had failed. His breathing went shallow and quick as images of war and death and sun glare swam in his head. The man had rushed to get to his own room, toppling the phone on his way and earning extra mumbling from his roommate. With trembling hands and half-failing feet, he had finally reached his anti-anxiety medication in order to get a hold of himself. He ran the next day.

 

            And so now he stood here, at the entrance of this freak show, trying to hide from his past. Bad life choices seemed to be a thing with him. Enlisting at 17, joining a carnival. He wasn't good at things. He used to be an explosives specialist back in the army, which translated into pyrotechnics since his release. He also had a fascination with fire. An open flame calmed him down, which explained the outrageous amount of candles in his sex life. As part of his post-release follow up, doctors encouraged him to find a hobby, so he became a fire juggler. Go figure.

Trying to look as casual as possible, Johnny made his way toward the booth. "Um, hi."

"Welcome to the Lernaean Traveling Circus, a carnival of herculean proportions. My name is Darcy, how can I help you?" she rattled off monotonously, without even looking at him. The whole situation made him feel like a fool. For a heartbeat, he actually thought about going back. But then Toad's slurp echoed in his mind and made him grit his teeth.

"Yeah, I'm looking for whoever is in charge of this thing," he said as he gestured vaguely around him.

"You want to meet with Director Fury?" Darcy had finally looked up at him and arched a brow. "Wow. Okay. You're smoking hot."

"Thanks, I guess. So who's this director guy? Sounds kinda like high-school."

"It stands for administrative director. I think he just likes to feel important. Why do you want to see him?"

"I... I was thinking about joining."

"You what?" she asked in a voice that was a bit too loud and a bit too high-pitch for his comfort. He actually flinched from the sonic onslaught.

"Look, I don't know how this works. Do I need a resume? Or do I just do my thing?"

"Your thing. Really? Sounds vaguely sexual. 'Cuz if you're trying something here, let me tell you that all this is way too much for you to handle," Darcy said as she ran a hand over her (noticeable) chest.

"Are you always this candid with everyone?"

"Nah, just with guys who have firm bodies."

"Oookay. Nice try, but I still want to join."

She wasn't the weirdest person to flirt with him, not by a long shot. Darcy answered something about funerals which didn't make him feel any better and asked him to follow her. Johnny shot one more glance at his pathetic excuse of a bike and decided that no one was going to steal that piece of junk, before he headed into the grounds. Off in the distance, some kind of contraption was spewing the music that seemed to haunt every single carnival all over the world. That, combined with the emptiness of the place made him jumpy. Which could explain why he almost jumped out of his pants when someone called out to his guide.

"Darcy, are my eyes deceiving me or is there an actual, real life man walking next to you without a leash?"

"Screw you, Tony. I'll have you know that he came to me willingly. Hottie here wants to join."

"No kidding. Are you hiding from a clingy ex?"

"Something like that," answered Allerdyce.

"See, clingy exes are only good when there are blowjobs involved. Are there blowjobs involved? I knew this chick once that could do this thing with her mouth where..."

"Tony?"

"Hey, Pepper. Pep. Mrs. Stark, my adorable wife whom I love and worship."

"Don't call me Mrs. Stark. What are you doing? I thought you were supposed to fix the steam organ."

The newcomer moved in a blur or orange hair, and wore a smart black dress and impossibly high heels. She looked at her husband with trained patience and just a hint of exasperation in her eyes. A pad and a pen completed the whole supervisor vibe she had going on.

"Tony was just telling us about..." Darcy started before the man shoved her with his elbow and cut her off.

"I was just telling this dashing new potential recruit how lucky I was to have you."

"Right. For the sake of this marriage, let's pretend I believe you. But we haven't been introduced: I'm Pepper Potts, the location manager. This here is my husband, Tony Stark. He's in charge of repairs."

"Basically, a glorified grease monkey," Darcy chided in. The comment earned her a glare from the man, but she chose not to acknowledge it.

"Saint-John Allerdyce," said Johnny on autopilot. His mind was elsewhere. The repair man probably wasn't aware of the impact their words had on him. He hadn't been called recruit for a very long time. He had joined the army to escape from his previous life, kind of like he was doing now. Only, he hoped this would turn out differently. Please, let this turn out differently.

"Hello? Earth to weirdo?"

"Oh, sorry Darcy. It was nice meeting you. Mrs. Potts, Mr. Stark."

And with that, the small group parted and the brunette continued her guided tour of the circus.

 

            She showed him the lions' cage, the Ferris wheel, the different stalls and the big top. There was also the House of Mirrors, the fun fair, the raffle, and the bouncing games. Every location was accompanied one sex-related story or another that made the tip of his ears heat up a little. He had had his fare share of people, but he had always had trouble going public about it. His guide on the other hand, seemed to live for that kind of stuff. If the interior of the ticket booth was as organised as her OTP list (comprising the relationships of her colleagues), that would be one seriously well kept work space. When he asked her how she fit into such a small box anyway, she just said that it was bigger on the inside, which made him frown a little.

"Doctor Who," she said, as though it was supposed to explain everything. She rolled her eyes at his ignorance and sighed. "Anyway, this is you. Good luck."

Allerdyce drew a deep breath and looked at the office of the administrative director. It was an RV painted black with silver sparkles embedded in the paint. Silver lines ran the length of the vehicle, complete with a diving eagle. In contrast to everything else that belonged to the Circus, it was clean enough to reflect the sunlight off every surface. Someone had taped cardboard to the door with the words 'Mamma Fury' written in big, blocky letters. For some reason, it felt like something that a certain grease monkey would do.

"Hello, sir," he said as he pulled the door open. "I was thinking about joining up."


	2. Reason For a Weird Nickname And a Hangover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where a welcome party is thrown and Johnny makes new friends (sort of).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second chapter for the story set up. I promise, one more and then stuff will happen :)
> 
> Special thanks to my proofreader for putting up with all my drafts. Your constructive comments are also appreciated.
> 
> As before, I'll try to publish weekly.

            "No way. I'm not wearing that."

After Director Fury had officially welcomed him into the family, Allerdyce had been told to go see Darcy about his uniform. They called it a uniform, but the young man called it a ridiculously inappropriate costume.

"Oh, come on!" whined the brunette ticket girl. "Do you know how much time I spent designing this? It features all your very firm and sexy body parts perfectly."

"I'm supposed to be a tech, not a male stripper."

"Don't sweat it hot stuff, pun intended. The chicks will dig it."

"Yeah, but Fury won't. This thing shows off way more skin than I am comfortable with. I don't need to feel like I'm walking around in my underwear. Besides, I've already let you molest my hair," he said as he scratched the newly shaven side of his head.

"You say molest, I say improve." Johnny actually rolled his eyes at this. "And stop insulting my genius," she continued with a pout.

"I'm not. Look, the colors are great, and so is the general idea. Just make it pants, instead of short, tight briefs and hide the shoulders. Then we'll be in business."

"But your shoulders are amazing!"

"I'm going to try to take this as a compliment, not as sexual harassment."

"Whatever. You should go see Tony to find some space for that heap of metal on wheels. That thing puts the 'loco' in 'locomotion'."

"Maybe, but it's _my_ loco locomotion." He winked at her, waved goodbye, and went looking for Tony. The latter proved difficult because he had no idea where to start. Who knew that a carnival could have so much machinery? He was just about to give up when a familiar voice called out to him.

"It's Saint-John, right?"

"Hello, Mrs. Potts."

"Please, call me Pepper. I hear congratulations are in order." She gave him a warm smile that hinted at something maternal.

"I don't know. Darcy keeps telling me it's my funeral while playing adult dress-up with me." Despite the conversation he just had with the girl, the corners of his mouth rose slightly to a grin. The comment earned him a laugh from Pepper as she pushed a strand of hair aside.

"You should have seen what she tried to do to Bucky and Steve, our resident acrobats. And let me warn you, Darcy also does make-up. Sometimes, she insists on body painting."

He rolled his eyes and scratched the bare side of his head once more. Apparently, the new haircut was meant to boost his badassery. Still, it felt kind of windy.

"Do you know where I can find Tony? I need parking space for my bike."

"He's probably tinkering in his workshop. He asked me not to disturb him. Everyone seems happy to have a Stark vacation." He shot her a worried glance and was about to ask what he was supposed to do now, but she continued. "It's alright, I'll make the necessary arrangements for you motorcycle." She smiled again. God bless her heart.

"Thanks, Pepper!" he said as he left for the general direction of his bunk.

 

            He had been assigned living space with the Summers brothers, all three of whom were light techs. The older brother, Scott, wore red-tinted glasses like all the time. Alex, the younger brother, seemed like a decent guy. The last brother, Gabriel, acted like a major dick to everyone, especially to Scott. It was hard to tell who was the older  between the two of them, and Johnny had given up after twenty minutes. They lived in an RV that felt way too small for four people and smelled vaguely of fermented plums. As he walked in on another 'family meeting' that involved a lot of swearing, fist waving and yelling, Alex mouthed a _Sorry_ in his direction, to which Allerdyce just shrugged. He was too tired to care. All the running around and debating with Darcy left him wanting to fall into his bed and stay there. That, and the fact that he still couldn't believe he was part of a traveling carnival.

"Are they always like this?" he asked as he sat down next to Alex.

"Only on the good days. They're not used to each other yet." Alex had meant it as another apology, but the statement only caused Johnny's brows to furrow.

"Yet? After like what, thirty years?"

"We found out about Gabriel only recently. Or rather he found out about us." He glanced at the still confused newcomer. "It's a long story."

"Hey man, no pressure." With that, he rose and gave in to the call of his bunk. He must have fallen asleep before his head touched the pillow, because the next thing he remembered was the blonde Summers waking him up. He said something about a mandatory meeting under the big top that started in ten minutes. Johnny mumbled a 'Thanks' before he got out of bed and tried not to look too tired and pissed about the interruption of his dream. It was a very nice dream.

 

            Dragging his feet to the center of the grounds was even more depressing than he thought it would be. On the horizon, the sky was turning pink-purple with the last rays of the sunset. One by one, the lights of the different tents and stalls were turned off as their owners retired for the night. The carnival was opening in two days and people tried to get either as much sleep or as much party in their body as they could. The dust he kicked up on his way settled on his jeans and running shoes. Noise was coming from the giant red and yellow tent in front of him, but it seemed to die out as he approached. Mandatory meeting this late? The young man had a few choice words about Director Fury's time management as he closed the last few meters until the entrance.

Pushing the heavy cloth aside, he entered the dim interior of the notorious big top. There was a giggling sound, followed by some hushing before the lights blazed to glorious life, revealing a throng of performers and techs all yelling 'SURPRISE!' at the same time. The ring had been rearranged with tables, snacks, chairs and the biggest amount of booze Johnny had ever seen. A banner floated between the tightrope poles that read:

_Welcome to the Crazy House, hot stuff!_

The young man didn't even need to wonder who was the author of the oh so eloquent message, and he rolled his eyes before every single person in attendance came over to shake his hand, pat him on the back, or flash a smile. He felt his face go hot from the copious amounts of attention he was getting. Very soon, he lost track of everyone's name and felt as though he was about to drown in the human tide. An arm locked around him and dragged him out before he even had time to yelp in surprise.

"I bet you wish you were wearing your uniform right now."

"Not a chance. Are all the mandatory meetings so... lively?"

"Ha! Wouldn't that be something?" Darcy was half-laughing and half-shouting over the ambient noise.

Looking around, Allerdyce got a nod from Pepper and a wave from Tony, his new supervisor. The Summers, in an attempt to present a united front, came over to congratulate him before going back to mingling and bickering. Making his way to the tables, the pyrotech grabbed two drinks and returned to Darcy. The attention of the crowd seemed to have shifted from him to the alcohol and the dancing, so he was left more or less alone. He guessed that for many here, any reason to party was a good reason. There was an old jukebox in the back of the tent, rigged to a sound system that practically screamed Stark, that was playing more or less dance music at a volume that threatened to blow his eardrums. The temperature was quickly rising as body heat met body heat and the distance between said bodies was vanishing. All in all, it was his kind of party.

"So, Darcy," he said as he handed her his own special version of a margarita. "Howz about a SparkNotes version of this place?"

"Holy shit! What is this stuff? It's like the Teen Wolf cast was put into a shaker and this is their delicious, delicious, sweet little drink child!"

"I bartended a little while back."

"Well, keep 'em coming baby, and I'll tell you everything you need to know!"

She took him vigorously by his bicep and started dragging him to meet 'anyone who was anyone'. Pepper and Tony were first, but the couple was having a lively discussion about quickies and workplace ethics, so they let them be. Then there was the compulsory visit to Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers, with whom Darcy behaved like a real groupie.

"You do know that you don't have a chance to come between those two, right?" Johnny asked once they were clear.

"Me, getting between those two? Do you know how long it took them to be 'those two' and how incredibly adorable they are now that it's done?"

He simply rolled his eyes and chuckled as Darcy resumed the tour. There was Natasha Romanov, the contortionist that could apparently kill you with a single glance, Bruce Banner, the lion tamer with the heart of gold, Jean Grey, Scott's girlfriend and part of the construction crew and her best friend Hank McCoy (and his electric-blue hair). Most conversations were cordial and short, but they still managed to feel genuine and warm.

"Darcy, when were you going to introduce your boy-toy?" shot a voice from his back, causing him to turn around immediately.

"He's not her boy-toy, Clint"

"You don't know that Phil. There's no way you could know that."

The men in front of him were simultaneously different and similar to each other. Clint was younger, mid-thirties tops, slightly taller and had the impish smile that had sent the fire breather tumbling head over heels quite a few times in the past. Phil, on the other hand, was closer to his forties and presented the world with a mask of calm countenance while his eyes gleamed with the same impish glow as Clint's grin.

"Phil, tell your hubby that he's not my boy-toy. He's actually Tony's boy-toy now."

"I'm no one's boy-anything, thank you very much."

Darcy turned back to Allerdyce to make introduction. "These two utterly perverted, sexy, sexy men are Clint Barton and Philip Coulson."

"Anyone with your looks can call me Phil." Clint shoved his husband hard enough to make a point, but not hard enough to actually hurt. "Anywho, I'm in charge of most of the stalls and street performers."

"You're that new pyrotechnician. What's your name anyway?" inquired Clint while squinting profusely at the newbie.

"Saint-John All..."

"Yeah, way too long. Let's just go with Pyro, 'kay?"

 

            Later that evening (or was it in the morning?), after many margaritas for Darcy and gin-tonics for 'Pyro', both of them were on the dance floor trying very hard not to bump into anyone and failing miserably as their drunken limbs flayed around, seemingly of their own accord. Some slow song was being coughed out of the Stark-O-Matic 2000, patent pending, and people took it as their cue to pair up. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the fatigue, or the change of scenery, or any other of the perfectly good reason that might have explained what took place next. Fact is, it kind of just happened. One second they were looking at each other, and the next they were kissing. It didn't last more than a couple of seconds before Darcy pulled away.

"Okay. Nope. This is weird."

"Agreed."

"So, what now?"

"Friends?" he answered, his tone uncertain. Truth was, he liked the girl. Not liked her liked her, but she was good company. Sure, she was sort of weird, and a first-class stalker, but that didn't stop her from being an all around quality human being. It would really blow if he had just screwed up that.

"Yeah. I can be down with that." She smiled and hugged him, and there was nothing awkward about it. "Still think you're totally hot though." He just rolled his eyes and shoved her a little.

"Okay. Enough. If I hear one more Grease song from that stupid piece of..." he snapped.

"Wait. You know Grease?" Darcy looked at him like he was a pod-person.

"Have you seen Travolta's chiseled chin?"

"That's it, I'm 100% done. I knew you were too good to be true. Where's the closest nunnery?"

"Don't worry, Sandy was hot too," he said as he winked at her.


	3. Fire Meets Ice And Discovers That He's a Total Prick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Johnny lives the pre-opening rush and gets a bad aftertaste from ice cream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the extended wait. I was away all summer and writing kind of got sidelined. Shouldn't happen again util next summer xD  
> Once again, big thanks to my amazing proof-reader who puts up with all my crap. Honey, I adore you.  
> This should be the last set-up chapter. Things are about to get real B)

          Doomsday. There was no other way to describe it. The whole thing started at around 5:00 A.M., which is way too early for anything sane to start. The Summers brothers had gotten up and had had their morning dose of sibling yelling/rivalry, which passed for normal conversation between them. That particular morning, they were debating whose turn it was to do the dishes. Like most days, Alex ended up doing them. Like most days, Johnny had skipped the whole thing. Tony had called a meeting at 6:30 and, as long as no booze was involved this time, the pyrotech was actually okay with it. He didn't get to sleep much in the army anyway, and he had slept even less in Afghanistan. It was 7:15 when “Tony Stark, King of the World and Dropper of Panties” (that was actually what the tag on his jump-suit said) finally showed up.

"Sorry folks. A certain somebody saw my new nametape and we had to have make-up sex."

"One, ew, and two, no one cares, Stark," shot Jean from somewhere in the back. It was followed by a snicker from Scott, who was still wearing those ridiculous red-tinted glasses. Suck up.

"Anyway, I welcome you to yet another edition of the “Incredibly Amazing Last Day Rush Meeting From Hell”. First of all, I would like to introduce all the boring people who missed the totally awesome mandatory meeting to our new pyrotechnician, whose name only my wife seems to be able to remember."

Johnny had stopped trying to fight the trend that one Clint Barton had created. He rolled his eyes, walked up to his supervisor, shoved him out of the way, and looked over at the tech team.

"Hi all. I'm the above mentioned new pyrotechnician, Saint-John Allerdyce. For simplicity's sake, just call me Pyro. Or Johnny, that works too."

There was a weak round of applause as Pyro went back to stand in the crowd.

"Okay, listen up people! We've got one more day before the front gates are open and Darcy unleashes the Infernal Legion of Zombies unto the carnival for a small admission fee. In order the survive the siege, everything needs to be top-notch. Grey, you and your team are going to double check the structure of the big top. Despite how hilarious it would be to watch it fall down on Hill and her performers, Pepper will have my balls if it happens."

"She already has them!" shouted someone in the crowd with a thick Russian accent.

"Very funny, Rasputin. I'll have you know that my balls are in a very happy place. Next, Summers, make sure your family takes care of the lights."

"Which one?" asked Alex, and immediately regretted it.

"Let's see. Who was it last time? Gabriel, you'll be lead on this one."

"No fair!" protested Scott. "I've got more experience that him!"

"How about you experience my fist against your face, four-eyes?" Gabriel was up in his grill before anyone had the time to sigh or roll their eyes. Johnny actually laughed at how livid Alex was.

"Summerses, don't make me go get Natasha!" Tony was definitely not impressed at the current display of testosterone. If anything, he seemed bored by it. At the mention of the Russian's name, everyone went silent. Even Rasputin, whoever he was. Then Stark proceeded to give directives interspersed with sex comments that made everybody uncomfortable. Still, he managed to make it sound almost inspiring. Something about techs beings like foreplay, how the whole thing was ruined if it's not there. The different teams headed out to their respective tasks, leaving Johnny all by himself.

"Hey, Cap'n Panties? What about me? Am I supposed to just stand here and be awesome? 'Cuz I can totally do that!"

"No, my young padawan. I've got a special quest for you."

"I'm pretty sure you just mixed fandoms."

"Laugh it up, wise guy. You'll find it less funny when you get to the final boss, Ringmaster Hill."

 

            Sure enough, Johnny wasn't laughing. "You have got to be kidding me!" he whined to no one in particular. "Who's the complete idiot who tried to install these spark throwers?"

That's when he saw the tag tied to one of the wires that read “Here, Tony got some” that pushed him over the edge. He kicked the stupid thing and ended up hurting his foot, which only added oil to the fire. "For fuck's sake," he said under his breath.

"Is everything all right back here?"

"Everything's fucking peachy," the tech shot back with more venom than was really needed. "Just wait until I get my hands on that guy's porn stash. I feel like making a bonfire."

"You must be the pyrotech guy. I'm Maria Hill, nice to meet you." There was a hint of laughter in the voice.

"Yeah, same." He blushed a little in shame when he realised he had lost his temper in front of someone. He had always had a short fuse. "Look, I'm sorry. I hate botched up jobs, and this has Stark written all over it. Literally." He emphasized his point by waving the stupid tag around.

"Don't worry about it. Everyone's waiting for his next “big inspiration” that will keep him locked up in his workshop for weeks before ending up in the scrap pile. We're due for a vacation."

"I vaguely remember Pepper saying the same thing."

"How she puts up with him is beyond me."

Johnny chuckled before wiping his hand on his overalls and extending it toward the woman. "I'm Pyro, by the way. I mean, John."

"So Clint keeps complaining to me." She tried, and failed, to stop herself from laughing when she saw the tech's confused look and furrowed brows. "Apparently, Phil talks about you."

He let out a sigh of despair and wondered what kind of mess he got into this time. He barely talked to the man and already his husband was planning his death. "My day keeps getting better and better."

This time, Hill didn't even try not to laugh. She told him where to find her if he ever needed anything before letting him get back to work. After several hours, and a copious amount of choice cursing that would probably even put Darcy to shame, Johnny stepped back to admire the results. He had to admit that the concept of the setup was good, but he found no less than 23 places where Tony “got some”, and that could have made the whole thing go kaboom. He was surprised that the Circus survived so long without a pyrotechnics specialist. Stark might have been great at his job if he weren't a complete horndog. Pushing aside the heavy pan of the enormous tent, he continued checking the various fireworks stations that had been set up outside. By the time he was finished, he was determined never to let Tony anywhere near any of the equipment. He was on his way to tell him just that when his favourite geek caught up to him.

"Hey, sexy ass. I brought you lunch."

"Thanks mom," he said as Darcy slid her arm around his. They moved to the picnic area and stuffed themselves with steak sandwiches and Twinkies. After washing it all down with Coke, they both lay on the table and watched the clouds. "You know, if you keep feeding me like that, I'll get my revenge by making you run with me. I mean, such lunch, very carbs." They laughed together and, for a while, just existed.

"Alright, I have to ask. What's with the accent?"

"I'm Australian."

"Shut the hell up!" she exclaimed in that pitch that made him flinch.

"No, I swear. I moved from Sydney when I was about ten."

"Like, legit Australia, with kangaroos and all?"

"Yeah, and the gaping hole in the atmosphere."

"So, you're practically British and you've never heard of the TARDIS or George."

"He's that cute werewolf guy, right? See, I knew that." Darcy didn't even hide the roll of her eyes. "And how am I 'practically British'?"

"You know, former colony and all."

"Then you're practically British too."

"Damn straight I am!" she said in the poorest imitation of a London accent in the history of forever. "I feel like ice cream. You?"

"We all scream for ice cream." There was a whimsical note in his voice that made them both smile as they rose and made their way toward the ice cream cart. Turns out, it was actually a ways off, and it took them forever to find it. By then, Pyro had almost decided that frozen milk wasn't worth the precious time of his meager lunch break. And he said so, while lighting a cigarette. He inhaled deeply and let the nicotine run through his system, before looking up and slowly blowing out the smoke.

"I didn't know you were smoking."

"I try not to, because of work and all, but, mostly, I fail."

"That is so badass."

"To you, everything I do is badass," he said as he chuckled out another cloud of smoke.

Darcy then went on a rant that had something to do with her OTP list and the latest episode of a TV series, and John mostly tuned her out, using the drone of her voice to calm himself. Closing his eyes, he let the sounds guide him for a while. He had almost let go of that morning's events when he bumped into someone. There was a soft sizzle, followed by a sharp yelp of pain.

"Jesus Christ, look where you're going!"

Pyro opened his eyes and had to squint because of the sudden flood of light. His cigarette lay broken on the ground, and some guy was clutching his arm in front of him.

"Hey, I'm sorry mate," John apologized, half-laughing.

"Whatever, _mate_." The guy glared at him before storming away. Good think there were no doors to slam.

"Prick," he said to no one in particular.

Darcy just rolled her eyes. "Don't mind Sir Grumpy McPoopy-Pants. Even Pepper has a hard time with him."

 

            He spent the afternoon running around doing chores. Being the new guy, he got all the last picks. At the carnival, this involved washing the lions' cage, taking out the trash, mopping Namor's tank, shining Thor's weights and checking in on Romanov. Allerdyce was still only half-convinced that it hadn't been a joke on Tony's part. By the end of the day, he felt sweaty and exhausted. And he really wanted ice cream. He found the cart much faster this time around.

"So what's a guy supposed to do to get some ice cream?" Johnny tried to be as friendly as possible, and even flashed a Colgate smile.

"Pay," answered the seller. Who just happened to be the guy John had burned earlier with his cigarette. Coincidence, thy name is bitch.

"Right. Butterscotch it is then." He felt kind of bad for bumping into him and then laughing about it. He handed in the money, receiving cold goodness in return. "You know, I really am sorry about earlier. Shitty day." He was definitely not looking at the new dinosaur-covered  plaster on the guy's arm.

"Like I said, whatever." Friendly was clearly not a thing for Grumpy. He was actually doing anything but looking at John and his movements had gotten harsher.

The tech was once again reminded of the shortness of his temper. "Do we have a problem?"

"I don't know, you tell me. Just because you got some fancy party doesn't mean you can walk around being a douche." This time, their eyes met. To say they were cold would be like saying that Bruce's lions smelt funny. Bruce's lions reeked. He clenched his jaw and sought to compose himself.

"Fuck you," he finally said, and threw the ice cream into the nearest trash can. His voice had barely carried across the distance between them. It was either that or punching him in the face. He lit another cigarette and walked away in a cloud of smoke. For some reason, he really hated ice cream now.


End file.
